There is no shortage of articles about the downsides of long-distance relationships (LDRs). To be fair, this is totally understandable. I don’t have much “typical” relationship experience, but based on what I’ve read and heard, long-distance relationships definitely need a little more work in comparison.
I don’t think there are many people crazy enough to say that they would choose an LDR over a non-LDR with the same partner (LOL why would anyone want that?) but it’d be ignorant to say that these types of relationships are totally doomed. Being in one myself, I can say for sure that LDRs can be very fulfilling and can offer many opportunities for growth.
Here are some examples:
Every visit is memorable.
When you’re hyperaware of your limited time together, you want to make the most out of it. In LDRs, you simply can’t take time for granted.
Assuming that you’re both dedicated to keeping the relationship intriguing, you will be making extraordinary plans for every time you’re together. This leaves you with a lot of good times to be wistful about when you’re apart–not to mention you’ll be extra excited for the next visit you’ll have.
There isn’t as much physical distraction.
This point is especially beneficial to those of us who are students. It’s not uncommon for couples in college to be permanently glued to each other’s sides.
“Let’s go to a café to do homework” often doesn’t work out as well as you’d hope, and all that time you spend cuddling and sweet-talking could have gone to preparing for your exam on Monday.
True, you can’t hug your LDR partner whenever you want but their physical absence can make it easier for you to stay focused on your tasks.
You develop effective communication skills.
LDRs help you become intimately familiar with Skype and other messaging apps and you are inevitably pushed to improve your texting habits to prevent miscommunication.
Miscommunication occurs in all types of relationships (not just romantic ones, even) and when you don’t always have the ease of demonstrating body language and hugging your partner after an argument, you are pushed to learn how to convey that same level of affection through text or video calls.
This skill is applicable to more than just your romantic ties too and it can, therefore, help you with other relationships as well.
You learn the value of patience.
In LDRs, you often have to do a lot of waiting; it can take a whole week, a whole month, or even more before you can see your partner. After all the waiting and measuring time through the number of tasks you have left to do until you can see your boo (“two more exams before my flight!!!”), you are finally gratified.
This journey, while difficult, helps you learn that “perseverance in the face of delay” is just as applicable to and is just as worth believing in relationships.
When you make it work, you know it’s something really special.
Relationships, in general, require a lot of work. After the initial stage of lust has faded, it’s easier to see the not-so-shiny aspects of being in a committed relationship.
Keeping a long-distance relationship thriving is extra hard work–and let’s face it, most people would not want to put in the work–but it’s something you can strongly pride yourself in.
If you can survive being away from your special someone who’s in the military or is in a completely different state, country or continent for a significant period of time, there’s little left that you can’t conquer together.
I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again: the success of a relationship often lies in the decisions of the people involved.
Sure, a lot of it is down to basic compatibility, but that’s something any emotionally-intelligent person can determine within a month or so, and it’s never just enough to keep a connection alive.
Everything else that comes after the “honeymoon phase” is more parts work, and that’s really what love is about.
Happy 24th birthday, Ange!
As always, let’s work on making this year better than the last.
Ferna’s interests include blogging, reading and learning all things digital media! She hopes to soon become a half-decent baker.
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