People have accurately described me as many things over the years – future-oriented, a bit of a showoff, and bad with maps. I find that one of the most inaccurate (other than “Mexican”) is “confident”. More often than not, I am actually quite the opposite. My exuberant nature is deceiving; people mistake my eagerness to befriend or entertain for overall confidence.
Today, I am twenty-one years old and confidence is still my number one enemy.
To deal with situations that I find somewhat challenging to handle, I have come up with small “solutions” over the years to make them tolerable.
Meeting new people
Despite enjoying the process of making friends, talking to new people makes me anxious sometimes.
I usually want to leave a good impression on others, especially if I think they are fun or interesting, but there are some occasions when I worry my inner excitement and coolness won’t translate well into my actions.
When I get this sudden fear, I force myself to stop thinking about it and just start introducing myself or asking the person to hang out. I literally “trick” myself into thinking that I’m the kind of person that doesn’t get nervous with these kinds of things, as odd as that may sound. Even odder still is that it does the trick!
Trying a new fashion style
Trigger Warning: I am basic. If you are nOt LiKe AlL ThE oThEr GiRlS, skip this point.
Some of my favorite things to do are shopping for clothes and makeup. I genuinely enjoy the process of shopping for hours, but once I actually wear a new outfit in public, I feel mildly self-conscious.
Suddenly, I’m not so sure if I actually do look good in my recent purchase. I would start nitpicking on every random detail and wonder if I even made the right choice spending money. (Is this just me??)
Having been through this process multiple times, I know that the jitters I get are just something I have to move past. Interestingly, it’s through watching others being confident in themselves that helps me.
More specifically, it’s watching people that look like me in some way that helps the most. This is usually when I look up to some of my favorite thicc legends like Gina Rodriguez (even though she is infinitely more fit than me lol).
Taking an exam
I loathe taking exams. There’s something about being in a room with other people while you’re being tested on something that just isn’t comfortable.
The most important thing to do to make sure my nerves are down in an exam hall is to study. (What a concept!!!) I know that that should be pretty obvious, but I think it’s something that people sometimes overlook.
There is nothing more comforting to me than knowing that I am prepared. The more confident I am in my knowledge of the material, the more I am convinced that I will do well. Obviously, when I believe I’m going to ace an exam, I wouldn’t feel like I have anything to worry about!
Doing things alone
We’re all familiar with the awkward feeling of walking alone to class or eating by ourselves while watching a video on our phones. Sure, there are plenty of people who would much rather be alone while doing these things, but there are also a lot of people that would very much prefer to have others by their sides.
I used to be the kind of person that could not, for the life of me, go anywhere without company. But in the last couple of years, I’ve learned that having to do things solo is inevitable. More than that, it’s sometimes necessary.
At some point, I just stopped feeling self-conscious when I walked or ate alone because I know that many times, I move faster when it’s just me. As I started giving myself a lot of things to do throughout my day, I noticed that I became much more productive when I did most of them alone.
Alternative moral of the story: when you’re busy, you don’t notice you’re alone? Y i k e s.
The “tips” listed above may or may not help you, but they’re what works for me! If you think they’re total BS and you didn’t deserve to read this garbage, let me know below in the comments. If you relate or agree, send me some love instead. <3
Ferna’s interests include blogging, reading and learning all things digital media! She hopes to soon become a half-decent baker.
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