My Long-Distance Valentine

Even though I’m sure no one needs a reminder – yesterday was Valentine’s Day!

Sadly, I didn’t have any fancy plans; I just went to class, headed back home and started writing this post. However, I did have a Valentine, and you would know him if you have me on social media or if you’ve read my previous blog posts.

It’s amazing to think that I have been in a long-distance relationship for almost a year and a half up to this point. While I never quite envisaged myself being in one when I was younger, it wasn’t much of a tough decision to make. I sensed that I had a special connection with Ange and I could imagine myself making many happy memories with him. At the time, I believed I would miss out on those happy memories if I chose not to commit. Besides, I knew that attraction and affection can be felt and expressed in many different ways, and while some relationships are more “convenient” than others, they are not necessarily the only significant relationships out there.

I think the main differences between long-distance relationships and normal relationships are the ease and frequency of having physical contact. Other than that, a lot of things are essentially the same – you need to like, trust and respect each other, you can get jealous/paranoid, and you have both amazing conversations and frustrating disagreements. Although it is true that not every long-distance relationship succeeds, I believe that oftentimes, it isn’t about the situation more than it is about the people involved. 

In my opinion, commitment is the most significant thing about any relationship, and committing to a relationship when you have to be apart for long periods of time is not for everyone. Obviously, dealing with a wrenching pain in your chest every time you have to part is not ideal – and you are in no way required to deal with such thing. However, I choose to because, to me, the temporary and fleeting loneliness is insignificant compared to all the chances that I get to build Legos and civilizations with him. It’s nothing compared to the contentment I feel when I get sweet messages and random musical composition and when we have long, creative Skype conversations.

After observing other people who are in relationships, I really don’t think that they have a bond that is any more special than ours. The only advantage that they have, really, is that they are closer to each other. But based on some of what I’ve seen, proximity does not guarantee a successful relationship; it does not promise that you and your partner will be more loyal, respectful and kind towards each other. Knowing this, I am not daunted by dubious remarks from other people when they learn that I am in a long-distance relationship, even though I can understand where they are coming from.

I am proud of what we’ve achieved in our relationship so far. I’ve watched friends who were skeptics transform into supporters. I’ve honed strengths I didn’t quite value before and discerned weaknesses that I would have been oblivious to if I had been left to my own devices. We’ve stuck with each other through all the misunderstandings and disagreements, and his commitment to me even after all the pain is the most important compliment I’ve ever received. 

I admit that it isn’t easy to be in a relationship like this because it can get lonely and frustrating at times. But like other successful and healthy relationships, it is also exceptionally rewarding, and that’s what makes it worth it.